When you receive an email from a band self-proclaiming to be “greatest metalcore band in the world,” you stand up and pay attention. Meet ChuggaBoom! The anonymous five piece are inspired by Asking Alexandria, Capture the Crown, 90’s Cartoons and “bitches”, whilst their forthcoming ‘Zodiac Arrest’ album takes all the standard metalcore (or “Awesomecore”) elements; “brutal screams”, “soaring clean vocals”, “dirty chugs” and “heartfelt lyrics” and wraps them up in one satirical ball. Add to that song titles like ‘Humorously Elongating The Title Of This Song’ and ’#TBT That Time I Made Out With Your Sister’, and you’re left with a tongue in cheek look at the current metalcore genre.
So why are we featuring a satirical band are a site like Already Heard? Because we want to entertain you, that’s why. We also wanted to see what drove ChuggaBoom! to write songs like ‘Mad Skills Brah!’ and ’14 Year Olds Have Sex More Than Me’. So cue guitarist John Virgo (complete with waistcoast and top hat) who told us about their “influences”.
As a band we are inspired by many different things, and there was probably a member better suited to write this short article, but they are all doing children’s stuff like reading comic books or being straight edge. As I’m sure you are aware, I’m not from a musical background, but (believe it or not) a couple of the band members are. We didn’t manage to get where we are today just from our haircuts alone.
It is hard not to be inspired by a nicely ironed shirt. I could happily spend a couple of hours a day smoothing stubborn creases from my collection of silk bow ties. I love how beautifully ergonomic and simple the catch mechanism is when you set up and take down the ironing board, I really can’t fault it.
Walking the dog
Sometimes soothing, sometimes stressful. I am a very busy man, as you know, and I don’t have a lot of time spare for trivial tasks. Sometimes, time can get carried away with itself and you only leave 15 minutes in order to take the dog for a walk. Rufus is a good boy on balance, but he knows exactly how to push my buttons when I am pressed for time. There have been several occasions where I have been seen to be negotiating with him regarding raises in his food allowance, free roam of the kitchen, spare bedroom & pantry and a spot at the dinner table for Sunday lunch. All this in a bootless errand to try and get him to use the toilet on somewhere other than my wonderful green felt carpet.
At the BBC, as I do in life, I have a rule; breaks are to be enjoyed in complete silence. There was once a time, back in 2006 where Fiona Bruce proceeded to talk at me while I was trying to consume my custom built 8" meatball marinara. Little did she know that my contract states I am to be left well alone during my hours of eating. Such boorish behaviour doesn’t play with me, hence I wrote a sternly worded letter to OFCOM (which was read out by Sir Terry Wogan on Points of View – if you’ll excuse the humble-brag) and got her demoted from local news to Crimewatch. If I had it my way, she would have gone straight to Channel 5 or The One Show.
You aren’t truly awake until you have had a good old stretch, that’s my motto. If I want to get the creative juices flowing, or be able to open a jar of pickled onions, or be able to use my lower back for rest of the day, the first thing I will do is stretch. If it is good enough for cats and dogs, then it is good enough for me.
‘Zodiac Arrest’ by ChuggaBoom! is released on 26th September.